The Sartre programming language is named for the late existential philosopher, Jean-Paul Sartre. Sartre is an extremely unstructured language. Statements in Sartre have essentially no philosophical purpose; they just are. Thus, Sartre programs are often left to define their own functions.
Unlike the integers in most programming languages, Sartre integers all have a value of zero (again, unless the Dada extensions are being used). Like the rest of the dreary universe (duck sauce included), this is something that must be lived with.
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