15 Most Hilarious Knock Off Toys

While the battle rages over digital piracy and all the cool kids are sharing shiny high-definition copies of their favourite digital files, spare a thought for the poor downtrodden bootleggers of meatspace. Not only do they have to go to the trouble of actually making stuff, they then have to devise a clever way of convincing the world that what they’ve come up with is something else entirely… something that you might actually want.

So, in no particular order- because let’s face it, how could you possibly impose any sort of order on this kind of capitalist mayhem- here are some of the best worst knock-off toys.

Sense Of Right Alliance

Life in the Avengers is not all it’s cracked up to be, you know. And in these tough global economic times more and more superheroes are being forced to moonlight in other teams just to make ends meet.

With a motto as catchy as, Let’s fence against the earth! it’s easy to see why so many of the world’s finest are defecting to the Sense Of Right Alliance.

Knock off superhero team toy

Let’s take a quick roll call. From left to right we’ve got: Batman, Spiderman, Superman… without a cape, the yellow Power Ranger, The Thing and Reed Richards… with ginger hair.

Fake superhero team
Photo by comicstriptease

Despite what you may think, fencing against the earth is no small task- and that’s why the Sense Of Right Alliance have to have their backs covered at all times. At a moment’s notice they can switch things up- the blue Power Ranger takes over from his yellow friend, Batman changes his costume and Superman gets his cape. Oh, and then Reed Richards turns into a blue car and they draft in Shrek to replace The Thing.

Counterfeit superhero toys
Photo by zenametalz

Nightmare Feddy

You might not know this, but after getting into trouble with the local neighbourhood watch for causing a bit of a kerfuffle on Elm Street, Freddy Krueger went to ground and took on a new identity. After cunningly changing his name to Nightmare Feddy he made the radical move of throwing away his hat and changing his jumper for another one with slightly different coloured stripes.

Knock-off Freddy Krueger toy
Photo by Tokyo Scum Brigade

Power Mans

I don’t know who Batman thinks he is. I tell you, he’s going to get a run for his money when he comes up against the Power Mans. They’ve nicked all of his spare suits for a start. And dressed like some sort of futuristic psycho boy band, they’re ready to unleash their invincible troop warfare.

Bootleg action figures

 

Breast Chaser

Strictly speaking this guy shouldn’t be on the list. Why? Well this isn’t actually a knock-off- it’s really more of a hilarious cultural glitch. But how can we possibly overlook a giant super-real galvion mech robot called Breast Chaser? When the robot uprising finally happens, ladies don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Bootleg Transformer toy called Breast Chaser

 

Overlord Leaves His Wife

I know you’ll find this hard to believe but Overlord has left his wife. Recreate the drama with this on-line to hitting vivid game.

Counterfeit hand-held video game
via

Specialman

It’s a little known fact that if Clark Kent tries to turn into Superman in the southern hemisphere things often go a bit wrong and he turns into Specialman instead.

Bootleg Superman toy called Specialman
via OhGizmo!

Mouse And Friends

The thing is, this mouse doesn’t look like he’s got that many friends. He looks like he ate them all.

Bootleg Mickey Mouse toy
via

Robert Cop 3

You’re looking for an elite police unit for the 21st century. So you take a cop… and then you take a Robert. You fuse them together and you come up with Robert Cop. Part cop, part Robert- that’s the the ultimate crime-fighter right there.

Fake RoboCop toy
via OhGizmo!

Transmogrifiers

The Transmogrifiers once ruled the entire galaxy. You probably haven’t heard of them though. That’s because they got the shit kicked out of them by the Transformers for being bright orange and having stupid names like Starholler.

Fake transformer
Photo by Dread Pirate Jeff

Power

You know who Bruce Banner turns into when he gets angry? That’s right, The Hulk. Do you know who The Hulk turns into when he gets angry? Power, that’s who. You know- the superior powered thunderbolt overlord top king.

Fake Hulk toy
Photo by benchilada

Uncanny Embryo

This masterpiece of insanity is a knock-off of a Mothra larva from the Godzilla films. It’s full title appears to be Variable Uncanny Embryo Horrible with the strapline Creep In Dark. But just in case that wasn’t enough there’s an Alien slapped onto the front of the box just for good measure.

Knock-off Godzilla toy
Knock-off Mothra toy
Fake Mothra toy
Image via My Little Farm In Town

Ninja Hero Rider

How could you possibly improve on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I suppose giving them eye-patches and putting them on horseback was at least worth a try.

Fake Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles toy
via PlayFire

Transformable Tomas

Mild mannered British kids TV show favourite Thomas The Tank Engine has been harbouring a dark secret all of these years. That’s right, you spell his name the German way. Oh, and he’s also a massive super robot in disguise.

Knock-off Thomas The Tank Engine toy
Fake Thomas The Tank Engine transformer
Thomas The Tank Engine as a Transformer

 

Awoke From The Nightmare

Actually, I think the nightmare is only just beginning.

Fake Lego toy

 

The Series Transformation details a total of four horrendous possibilities.

Instructions for a fake Lego toy

 

Yeah, this guy seems to be the root of the problem.

Knock-off Lego skelton figure
Images via Reasonably Clever

Titanic Bot

Back in the old days, when men were men and women were women, transformable robots turned into doomed luxury cruise liners.

Titanic transformable robot toy

Note that the packet boasts WITH SAILING ACTION yet makes no mention of any sort of realistic crashing and sinking action.

Instructions for assembling Titanic Bot
viai-mockery

 

Probably Breast Chaser’s great grandfather.

Titanic Bot as a robot
via Blog Transformers
Titanic Bot as a boat
via Blog Transformers

 

 


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2 Responses to “15 Most Hilarious Knock Off Toys”

  1. beanjetta

    After the cataclysmic robot holocaust, all women’s boobies were fondled and massively stroked by the “Breast Chaser”

    Reply

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